Yesterday my blood sugar plummeted while I was waiting in line with a friend at my neighborhood Walgreens: cold sweat, vertigo, ears ringing, vision fading, nausea rising, Timber! I felt the fall coming and rushed to the bathroom to lay on the floor so I wouldn't crash to the floor like a pathetic snapped sapling. My friends Jill and Lea (thanks, guys!) were super helpful and got me water and a ride home. From there The Universe forced me to Think. I couldn't buzz about working on projects. I couldn't make it to my kitchen shift at Shakti. Instead I had to lay motionless on the couch for several hours to keep the dizziness at bay. And ponder. Finally captive to long thoughts. (With kitty.)
I decided to take stock of my current life mess and what lead to the crash. There are a lot of physical things I did wrong (I suspect taking a pain pill for my killer monthly and lots of multivitamins when I've barely had solid food in me for a week was a bad, bad idea). I also blame my fierce attempts to Improve All The Things at once. This was one painful reminder that results are superior when you focus on one project at a time.
I have a fickle creator-brain that wants to do too much. Just in the past few months I've:
- Searched for retail store space for a vintage store plan (abandoned- all bad locations/too much $),
- Worked with counselors and conducted extensive hours-long conversations with grads and students alike on my school path (deciding- thinking Digital Media but my heart cries for Photography even though it's a Fine Arts and not Photojournalism),
- Contacted an artist on making a line of ceramics with me (postponed for a
longwhile...) - More! So much randomness...
Yet despite all the ideas constantly buzzing in my head and screaming for release, I've found my real life's mission. I love art and creating. It's an inalienable part of my being, but the big mission is:
To change lives with my photos and words while constantly refining my writing and photography skills.
The challenge is finding out exactly how to do this. Contributing to other publications: books, journals, fellow-blogs and magazines and of course- really working hard on the content right here at Thrift Core is my current bet. I think this means my Ultimate Project List Of Crazy needs better planning and a temporary hold. I can't expect to have strict deadlines for everything and keep killing myself, I need to take things one step and a time. This is all common sense to a more pragmatic person, but it took a trip to the bathroom floor for me to get the point. I learn things the hard way.
I won't abandon my love of design, kitsch, pop culture, mid century modern, and all things creative. It can all be refined and combined, like proceeds of sales to charity when my long-dreamed ceramics line is ready. I'm actively shaping my future. It's currently an amorphous lump of clay, but by chipping away at it the vision is slowly emerging.
Universe Hath Spoken! Don't take a pain pill and/or multivitamins if you've only had smoothies and salads to eat for days and you're chemically sensitive like I am! Don't pile up projects and expectations. No more bathroom floors, please!
Oh my goodness! I'm glad you're ok though. My body always tells me when I need a break too. Take it easy, Van!
ReplyDeleteWill do :)
DeleteNo jokes, but Walgreen's was not a bad place to feel ill. But that aside, you need to slow down, Van. And multi-vitamins always, always make me ill. Hope you are feeling better today. Hugs, Linda@Wetcreek Blog
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tip on the multi-vitamins, was taking them for 5 or so days and didn't, ironically, that day but they're a factor to consider.
DeleteOh and yes Walgreens was a good place to be. Filled up on coconut water from the fridge and everyone was nice/concerned about the weird girl laying on the bathroom floor.
Deletewow, look after yourself! it's better to be an over than an underachiever i guess but do take care! hope you will find a balance soon and that you will get to do what you set out to (listen to your heart!) xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Aniko, I'm listening to it throughout the journey to see where I need to go.
DeleteYou need a little break maybe? Take care and focus on one project at the time :)
ReplyDeleteIndeed! Need to ignore that list and really choose one thing to focus on going forward, then will move on from there! Sloooow it down.
DeleteGosh, glad you're okay. Watch that diet. Daily exercise/walking can help greatly with the monthly bill.
ReplyDeleteMonthly bill? :) I know I definitely need to do more exercise, walking, etc.
DeleteIts tempting to spin out on all the great ideas and plans a person can have (as a Gemini multi-idea obsessive personality, I can relate!) but you have to temper that with self-care and quiet time. It may feel like you should be doing something at all times, but really, one of the things you should be doing regularly is---nothing. The body/brain needs recovery time. Think of it as charging yourself like you would charge your cell phone or camera battery, so you can work better later :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Tilda. 'Tis true I'm the worse at giving myself recovery time. Will work this...book and shower soon me-thinks :) *nodd*
DeleteOh my gosh, so glad you're okay! What an eye-opener...definitely shouldn't overload on anything, that's my problem, too. Lately, I'm trying to do it all with projects. The problem with creative minds, hehe. Good thing you made it to the bathroom, though and didn't wait to fall hard on the floor. I rarely have the car nowadays so sorry haven't been able to meet up lately. Feel better and get some r&r . :)
ReplyDeleteThanks B! Be careful, you. We definitely need to try to meet up again when you can.
DeleteStop partying so much... Sheesh!
ReplyDeleteHaha, I wish ;)
DeleteGlad to hear you are ok. You talked a couple days ago about applying for a resale certificate and other tips for reselling. I am confused in the process, researching how to open my own antique booths and selling on ebay. Did you apply for a business license? Or is it considered a hobby for you? The advantage for applying is for tax exepmt purposes, but it costs hundreds and many more steps to receive a business license. What did you do?
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of a resale certificate. Your "hobby" is classified as a business only when you're operating it to run a profit. That's the definition of a business to the IRS. But as a sole proprietor (which I am) I can report my earnings with my social security number and don't need a business license or an EIN number.
DeletePeople who have antique booths, etsy and ebay stores are in the business for profit. People do not pay booth rentals and the owner 10%, or Ebay 10%, just for a hobby. A resale certificate is what you would need to not pay tax on the purchases you sell for your booths or stores. I have spoke when many people and owners of antique and thrift stores, and no one is selling for a hobby, but all are doing it to make money.
DeleteEspecially those folks that have multiple venues.
Thanks for the detailed explanation.
DeleteI have been reading your blog for a bit now and I have been enjoying it. I am really sorry to hear about your crash. I get it though, my cramps, when they are at their worst, will lead me to nearly pass out. Can I recommed something? There is this tea made by Yogi - it's called Woman's Moon Cycle. I have been drinking it for years because it actually helps to ease the pain of cramps. I have shared many tea bags with other women and they call it the magic tea. I went from taking 8 ibuprofen a day and 2 Alleve, to 2 ibuprofen and a few cups of tea. The only side affect is it makes you feel a bit sleepy, but seriously, that is fine by me, especially at night. Please check out this tea. Its reasonably priced and you can find it in health food stores, some major chains in the organic aisle, or online.
ReplyDeleteI hate to sound like an ad, but I can't not share what works. Some times you just gotta help a sister out, you know?
Take care, be well and many blessings to you!
Aw, thanks for reading along and sharing this tip. I get baaaad period cramps and have a heavy flow. I tried Raspberry leaf teas and supplements before because they're supposed to help by strengthening the uterus' wall, but I stopped when I started spotting a week before my period. I don't know if that caused it but it was safety precaution. I will definitely try Woman's Moon Cycle again though and see what happens. Thanks for the suggestion!
DeleteGlad to hear you are okay. Sometimes you really need to understand when to take a break...thanks for the reminder....take care.
ReplyDeleteThanks, same to you! :D
DeleteWow, that was scary! Perhaps you need to up your food intake, be very careful, you still should go see a doctor to ensure that it is nothing more than what you think it is (ie diabetic eposide?). Not trying to scare you, just want to make sure you are ok
ReplyDeleteYeah I think I will look into insurance and make an appointment just in case. Luckily today had a lot of solid food on the meal plan, actually stuffed tonight :)
DeleteThe title of your post got my attention. Heavy flows takes a lot out of a woman, trust me. You are a smart, creative and enthusiastic young woman with many ideas. It seems that you might need to balance yourself with some sitting, rest and calm. Your lovely kitty should be your reminder to sit and relax and share down time.
ReplyDeleteIt saddened me to read that you need to look into inusrance to get some medical attention. Everyone deserves to have the health care they need to be productive members of our society.
Thanks for the kind words. I'll finally look into insurance, I never saw the point especially after switching to healthy eating, I'm never really sick. Last I went to the doctor at 23 all they do is throw pills at you, I'm not into it. But it may be worth getting my blood checked I suuuupose ;p
ReplyDeleteOh and yep I was prone to faint spells as a teen for my heavy flow, too. Periods suck.
DeleteOh Hun, you poor thing. The universe it's a funny thing isn't it? When you need to learn a lesson or get a message it'll keep showing you until you get it. Unfortunately if you've been ignoring previous signs of a message, the signs get bigger and bigger until they literally stop you in your tracks to make you reassess. I'm very much like you Van, I have a lot of ideas I want to entertain creatively. For me everything works for me if allow things to organically form, if I'm working on something towards my end result everyday I'm happy and is my only daily goal really. I hope you're feeling better and you can listen to your heart and soul and give it the answers it deserves. X
ReplyDeleteThanks for the honest and kind words as always Trudie, I'm working hard at trying to improve.
DeleteHey Lisa, it's been suggested, need to look into it more.
ReplyDeleteBeing a Mama, I'll focus on your episode. I've had the same reaction with over the counter pain relievers myself. Glad you had presence of mind to LIE down instead of falling and injuring yourself. I hope that all is well with you and you take your own sound advice!
ReplyDeleteThanks Terri for the concern, it's sweet. I stopped the vitamins, too. At least until I'm eating more than just fruits, veggies, and nuts :)
DeleteOh my goodness (reading your blog after a long blogging hiatus)! Hope everything works out for you on the insurance, health and just purpose-in-life fronts! Sending you loads of good vibes for positive changes in your life. I've not been in a very good place in my life lately either, and I know how much that can affect one's health.
ReplyDeleteWhen you do get insurance/health coverage, you may want to look into why your monthlies are so heavy/painful. It might be due to a treatable cause.
I have read heavy period flow is common for Hispanic girls, it's called Dysmenorrhea. But I'll look into it eventually, very true, could be other things. One reason I've been trying to eat super healthy is that is supposed to help with period pain. Thanks for the kind words and checking back and the kind words, working hard!
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